Hello my dear friend Rachel,
I am just sooo happy that you have decided to join me on this journey to becoming healthier...and hopefully thinner. Perhaps this blog will be a motivator for us to stay on track!
Before when you asked me why I was eating healthier and working out more I told you it was for health, health and only health. I want to lower my high blood pressure, not have knee problems and not experience acid reflux on a normal basis...but to be completely honest I also have a secret motivation to not be afraid of a haunted place...the scale.
I have spent most of my life avoiding the scale. I think there were years I never visited that number on that thing I step on in the bathroom. Only when I visited the doctor's office did I find out what I truly weighed and I never found myself happy about it.
When I was a kid in elementary school I remember lying about my weight. In third grade, my boy cousin that was my age told me proudly that he weighed 80lbs...he was excited about gaining muscle at the time. My brother and I had just visited the doctor...Dr. Gender...for a check-up where I had found out that my weight was about 95-100lbs.
"How much do you weigh?" My cousin asked me his chest out to boast about himself a bit.
"The same." I told him...blatant lie.
His jaw dropped.
"What?" I said. "I weigh the same as you..."
"Yea..." he said. "But girls are supposed to be skinny..."
To this day I hate that society...and perhaps those small waisted Disney Princesses...told a bunch of eight-year-olds that.
Needless to say I avoided the scale for about the next four to five years, until I visited the doctor in eighth grade and the scale was pushed all the way to 160lbs...WTF happened to all the numbers in between?
I was a very active and very athletic child going to soccer 2-3 times a week and dance 4-5 nights a week. My mother monitored my food intake pretty well...a whole other issue in itself...so I don't really know how the scale continued to climb...
The scale continued to climb and I don't expect you to do this or anything, my dear friend Rachel, but I think perhaps it will help me to admit that since about my sophomore year in college I have weighed about 200lbs...give or take a few pounds here and there.
But I am telling myself, as I have told myself many times before that this time, this time, THIS TIME will be different. Others have done it and now so will I. With time and patience I want to make the scale not such a scary place.
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